Quotes

Funny Quotes

“You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is never try.”
Homer Simpson
Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes
“You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?”
Funny Quotes
“Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn’t find anyone to copy it from.”
Funny Quotes
“Why is it called ‘ after dark’ when it really is ‘ after light’? ”
Funny Quotes
“When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. ”
Funny Quotes
“When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car.”
Funny Quotes
“Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good.
Luckily, this is not difficult….”
Funny Quotes
“What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? ”
Funny Quotes
“What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? ‘Hold my purse.’ ”
Funny Quotes
“Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils …”
Louis Hector Berlioz
Funny Quotes